Body Affirmation

I really liked the below so called Body affirmation by Kay Sheppard:

My body is a good place to live. I am glad that I have chosen this particular body because it is right for me. It is the right size and shape and color. It serves me well. My body is a miracle. I choose the healing thoughts that create and maintain my healthy body and make me feel good. I love and appreciate my body.

Habits of slim non-ED people

We all know the expression "we are what we think we are". Thin people have a relaxed relationship with food. Overweight people however tend to be preoccupied by it. They focus on how much or how often they eat, or attach labels like good and bad to certain foods. As a result, mealtime is always on the brain. So how become a person that's got no food-issues? The text below is trying to respond to that. It's taken from an article on the site Prevention.com -however they're using the expression "skinny", that I don't like...

1 Choose Satisfaction Over Stuffed

On a fullness scale of 1 to 10, skinny women stop eating at a level of 6 or 7. The rest of us may keep going to an 8 or 10. Why? It may be because you mistakenly equate the sensation of fullness with satisfaction and feel deprived if you stop short. Or you may just be used to finishing what's in front of you, regardless of whether you really need it. To increase your awareness of how satisfied you feel during a meal - about halfway through your next meal, put your fork regularely and, using the 1 to 10 scale, rate your level of fullness.

2 Realize Hunger Isn't An Emergency

Most of us who struggle with extra pounds tend to view hunger as a condition that needs to be cured--and fast. If you fear hunger, you might routinely overeat to avoid it. Thin people tolerate it because they know hunger pangs always come and go, buying them some time. So Pick a busy day to purposely delay lunch by an hour or two. Or try skipping an afternoon snack one day. You'll see that you can still function just fine. Then next time you feel those grumbles, you'll hold off before making a beeline for the fridge.

3 Don't Use Food To Cure The Blues

It's not that skinny women are immune to emotional eating. But they tend to recognize when they're doing it and stop. Add the word 'Halt' to your vocabulary. More than just a command (as in stop eating that entire sleeve of cookies), it's an acronym that stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. If you're truly hungry, eat a balanced snack to tide you over until your next meal. But if you're angry, lonely, or tired, seek an alternative calorie-free solution to your emotional need.

4 Eat More Fruit & Veggies

Skinny women, on average, have one more serving of fruit and eat more fiber and less fat per day than overweight people, reports a 2006 study published in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association.

5 Create "habit food"

Studies have shown that too many tastes and textures encourage you to overeat. Thin people have what I call a food groove--the majority of their meals consist of well-planned staples. There are a few surprises thrown in, but for the most part, their diets are fairly predictable.

6. Eat breakfast!
78% of successful dieters do it every day, according to the National Weight Control Registry, A database of more than 5,000 people who've lost more than 30 pounds and kept the weight off for at least a year.

7 Move

On average, skinny women are on their feet an extra 2 1/2 hours per day--which can help burn off 33 pounds a year, according to a study from the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN.

8 Sleep Well

Skinny women snooze 2 more hours per week, compared with overweight people, says a study from Eastern Virginia Medical School. Researchers theorize that a lack of shut-eye is linked to lower levels of appetite-suppressing hormones like leptin and higher levels of the appetite-boosting hormone ghrelin.

I'm so ashamed! + Your body is a gift

I know that living with an ED makes it a lit more difficult to appreciate life but, really when you think about it: life is a gift! Also, even more important if you're reading this you are most probably amongst the "materially lucky" members of this planet. That is you and your family have a shelter and food on your table. You're lucky! I feel constantly guilty about this whole ED stuff. I mean, starvation, child molester, prostitution, rage-deeds and wars are for real. Yes we read about it daily but it seams surreal .... we can't even imagine what that's all about. And that's the daily life for the majority of the people on this earth. And what's my problem. Try to explain it to a child-soldier in Somalia or a kid living in the sewer systems in Mongolia. "Well ... hum... I've been through different stages of eating disorders since I was 13 years old. Believe me it's really a pain, it's like living in a self-inflicted torture chamber. You see it's actually a real big problem in our society"

What the #@&`¤£$%#$!!! It's just CRAZY!!

I'm not religious (as you might understand from my rough language above;-) ), but I do think that the bible contains several laws of conduction that, if respected by all, would decrease a lot of suffering. In the 1st Corinthians 3:16-17 (ESV) it's written:

“Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.”

Where I am today

Feelings: I'm ashamed of my body with it's ugly fat, bloated stomach and it's ungracefullness. However I like my morphology.
Body connection: I feel alienated by my body. I avoid looking at my body or touch myself, nor do I like the idea of someone else touching me.
Self care: I don't want to be in contact with my body so I don't take care of it. I guess I neglect myself and since a couple of years I've stopped dress up to be pretty. I can't anyway as I don't fit into my clothes.
Food choices: I no longer feel that I'm completely out of control of my choices but my food choices are not related to physical feelings but based on my emotional states and what I think is good or bad.
Eating behaviour: I eat fast without chewing and without being connected to the food.
Shape: I do sports inregularely, like 2 times a week in average feel out of shape, week, stiff and got a bad posture.
Responsibility: I "start all over again" twice a month with the obligatory last-supper period before.
Health: I often have stomach aches, my muscles are often sore and I sleep bad or too little and often feel tired and out of energy. I'm rarely sick though.
Time spent: In average 1h30 a day to plan to break free.
Money spent: In average I spend 5 euros a day = 150 euros a month to dieting and binging.
Weight: 62.3 kilos.
Fat %: 22.7
Water %: 53.6