Habits of slim non-ED people

We all know the expression "we are what we think we are". Thin people have a relaxed relationship with food. Overweight people however tend to be preoccupied by it. They focus on how much or how often they eat, or attach labels like good and bad to certain foods. As a result, mealtime is always on the brain. So how become a person that's got no food-issues? The text below is trying to respond to that. It's taken from an article on the site Prevention.com -however they're using the expression "skinny", that I don't like...

1 Choose Satisfaction Over Stuffed

On a fullness scale of 1 to 10, skinny women stop eating at a level of 6 or 7. The rest of us may keep going to an 8 or 10. Why? It may be because you mistakenly equate the sensation of fullness with satisfaction and feel deprived if you stop short. Or you may just be used to finishing what's in front of you, regardless of whether you really need it. To increase your awareness of how satisfied you feel during a meal - about halfway through your next meal, put your fork regularely and, using the 1 to 10 scale, rate your level of fullness.

2 Realize Hunger Isn't An Emergency

Most of us who struggle with extra pounds tend to view hunger as a condition that needs to be cured--and fast. If you fear hunger, you might routinely overeat to avoid it. Thin people tolerate it because they know hunger pangs always come and go, buying them some time. So Pick a busy day to purposely delay lunch by an hour or two. Or try skipping an afternoon snack one day. You'll see that you can still function just fine. Then next time you feel those grumbles, you'll hold off before making a beeline for the fridge.

3 Don't Use Food To Cure The Blues

It's not that skinny women are immune to emotional eating. But they tend to recognize when they're doing it and stop. Add the word 'Halt' to your vocabulary. More than just a command (as in stop eating that entire sleeve of cookies), it's an acronym that stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. If you're truly hungry, eat a balanced snack to tide you over until your next meal. But if you're angry, lonely, or tired, seek an alternative calorie-free solution to your emotional need.

4 Eat More Fruit & Veggies

Skinny women, on average, have one more serving of fruit and eat more fiber and less fat per day than overweight people, reports a 2006 study published in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association.

5 Create "habit food"

Studies have shown that too many tastes and textures encourage you to overeat. Thin people have what I call a food groove--the majority of their meals consist of well-planned staples. There are a few surprises thrown in, but for the most part, their diets are fairly predictable.

6. Eat breakfast!
78% of successful dieters do it every day, according to the National Weight Control Registry, A database of more than 5,000 people who've lost more than 30 pounds and kept the weight off for at least a year.

7 Move

On average, skinny women are on their feet an extra 2 1/2 hours per day--which can help burn off 33 pounds a year, according to a study from the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN.

8 Sleep Well

Skinny women snooze 2 more hours per week, compared with overweight people, says a study from Eastern Virginia Medical School. Researchers theorize that a lack of shut-eye is linked to lower levels of appetite-suppressing hormones like leptin and higher levels of the appetite-boosting hormone ghrelin.

Where I am today

Feelings: I'm ashamed of my body with it's ugly fat, bloated stomach and it's ungracefullness. However I like my morphology.
Body connection: I feel alienated by my body. I avoid looking at my body or touch myself, nor do I like the idea of someone else touching me.
Self care: I don't want to be in contact with my body so I don't take care of it. I guess I neglect myself and since a couple of years I've stopped dress up to be pretty. I can't anyway as I don't fit into my clothes.
Food choices: I no longer feel that I'm completely out of control of my choices but my food choices are not related to physical feelings but based on my emotional states and what I think is good or bad.
Eating behaviour: I eat fast without chewing and without being connected to the food.
Shape: I do sports inregularely, like 2 times a week in average feel out of shape, week, stiff and got a bad posture.
Responsibility: I "start all over again" twice a month with the obligatory last-supper period before.
Health: I often have stomach aches, my muscles are often sore and I sleep bad or too little and often feel tired and out of energy. I'm rarely sick though.
Time spent: In average 1h30 a day to plan to break free.
Money spent: In average I spend 5 euros a day = 150 euros a month to dieting and binging.
Weight: 62.3 kilos.
Fat %: 22.7
Water %: 53.6

The Pyramid of Mastery - positiv effect of a transforming yor body on other life areas

After finding that all BFL testimonies had experienced positive effect on other areas of their life I found that the self-help guru Tony Robbins could put words to this phenomena by using what he calls the "Pyramid of Mastery"
7 Areas of Constant Growth for an Extraordinary Life

..."An extraordinary life comes from an unrelenting commitment to constant and never-ending improvement in all seven areas of your life. While all seven areas are important, there is a hierarchy that helps create peak performance and fulfillment. For example, if you don’t focus on health and your body, all the money, career success and contribution in the world will be worthless. You can’t experience an extraordinary quality of life without the vehicle that’s helping create it. Or if you spend time trying to solve your relationship issues and haven’t yet focused on your emotions, you’ll no doubt encounter problems. Similarly, you must determine how you focus and spend your time in order to create a successful career."

Finding a balance

Why is the "all or nothing" thinking so prominent when it comes to food? Because unlike other addictions, you can't avoid your "drug" as food is necessary for survival. Having broken one of your food rules the perfectionists "black and white" thinking takes over and the vicious cycle continues. Also, when consuming ice cream, pizzas, cookies and other calorie dense food often - it's no longer a treat and I wont appreciate it as much and so I'll eat more of it.

I know I don't want to live without treats but I don't want to "live for it" either. So what I'll do is to develop a healthier relationship with my food - a relationship based on meeting my nutritional needs, respecting my body and occasionally savouring treats.

Self - discipline - we all need it to suceed

Self-discipline is the ability to get yourself to take action regardless of your emotional state. This is also closely linked to your self-esteem. To build self-discipline the personal development blogger Steve Pavlina uses the below steps.

Identify an area where your discipline is weakest, acknowledge your starting point, and design a training program for yourself to improve in this area. Willpower is your ability to set a course of action and say, “Engage!” This includes the following steps:

1 Choose your objective 2 Create a plan of attack 3 Execute the plan

Your life will reach a whole new level when you stop avoiding hard work and simply surrender to it. If you want to get heathy it’s time to accept that the path to your goal requires disciplined diet and exercise (both hard work).
Self-discipline also requires that you develop the capacity to put in the time where it’s needed. In life there are many tasks that aren’t necessarily difficult, but if you don’t discipline yourself to get these done, they can make a big mess of your life. Finally when you work on any big goal you won't always feel motivated but by being persistent you'll keep taking action and therefore you keep accumulating results.

The Body for life challenge

Inspiration from people taking on the BFL challenge

"The Body-for-LIFE Challenge has changed everything for me. I realize now that being overweight was a way for me to hide from life. Not anymore! I now have a level of energy, self-confidence and personal power that I can achieve any goal I set for myself."

"My BFL journey has taught me so much about myself. I am not weak, but strong. I have the ability to accomplish anything I put my heart and mind to. Not only has my body and confidence level changed, but my life overall is amazing now. I’m a pleasant, more giving wife, a fun and energetic mom, and a supportive nurturing friend"

"People tell me how much I have changed. I tell them BFL has not CHANGED me. Rather, it has helped me to find me again—the thin, healthy, happy me that was hiding under a layer of grief, pain, loss, guilt and fat."

"This has been a life-changing experience, affecting me not only physically, but just as much, emotionally and spiritually. I feel empowered, like anything is possible if I really want it! I am a better wife, mother and friend. I can’t seem to quit smiling, because I feel so good, inside and out. I am full of energy and am enjoying my husband and kids more than ever. I was an average, middle-aged, wife and mother, who, by taking the Body-for-LIFE Challenge, has indeed CHANGED FOR LIFE! I sincerely thank you for this new life!!"

Just finished my fast

Since last time I actually DID something drastical. I highlight the word "did" as I beleive that "winner do what loosers don't want to do". Like get your self together ;-) Of course this is a way to simplify the complex behavior of someone suffering from an eating disorder but anyway, it's good to keep in mind.

So I did a fast. A so called master cleanse. The aim of this was to let my poor digestive system rest, to get new eating patterns, to appreciate the act of eating and to clean out my body from toxics (detoxes must by the way be one of the most popular diet fads today).

And yes, I know that it's a short time solution to a long time problem and that the loss is not only toxics and fats but also a lot of water and also some muscles, but a desperately needed to feel lighter and better in my body.

Do you have an eating disorder? Well... yes I do

This questioner is from the site eatingdisorderfoundation.org.

If you have answered "Yes" to any of these questions, you may have an eating disorder.

1. Do you overeat until you feel sick?
2. Do you feel guilt and remorse when you eat?
3. Are you terrified of being overweight?
4. Does it feel as though food controls your life?
5. Do you isolate so that you can eat?
6. Do you have a history of dieting?
7. Do you avoid eating when you're hungry?
8. Do you weigh yourself at least once a day?
9. Do you eat large amounts of food in a brief amount of time?
10. Do other people say you're thin but you think you're fat?
11. Do you make yourself vomit?
12. Do you regularly take laxatives or diuretics to lose weight?
13. Do you exercise no matter how tired or sick you may feel and feel upset when you miss a day?
14. Do you go to the gym or exercise more than once a day?
15. Do you take longer than other people to eat a meal or do you usually finish before everyone else?
16. Are you preoccupied with food or your body size much of the day most days?
17. Do you hide foods?
18. Do you cook for others but never eat what you've made?
19. Do you resist foods when in public but eat them when you're alone?
20. Do you eat or refuse to eat when tense, anxious, or disappointed?
21. Do you feel exhilarated or "in control" when you don't eat?
22. Have you taken drugs to curb your appetite?
23. Do you exercise instead of eating?
24. Do you count calories or fat grams?
25. Do you make unfulfilled promises to yourself about what you will or will not eat?
26. Do you feel defeated or hopeless about food or your body size?
27. Have you kept any of these issues secret?

On my bedside table lays my body for life

When Bill Phillip - the publisher of a bodybuilding magazine - found out that a majority of his enthusiastic readers were completelly out of shape he realized that something was wrong in his methodes. He decides to motivate his readers to do a 12 week body transformation - The body for life Challenge.

I beleive that it's the real life stories that are what makes this book so special. With "before-and-after" shots and success stories you can not avoid wanting to act. wanting to change. These real life cases all seems to have experienced tremendous uplifts in their life in other areas outside their physical body. l did try this cardio methodes for 2 weeks with enourmosly positiv results in my mental and physical health. However, then my brand nex PT came along saying that I shouldn't do so as I've got weak knees and that the cardio - program put to much pressure on them...

However, I still loved the book, hoping that I'll be able to do it one day.

Body for Life: 12 Weeks to Mental and Physical Strength by Bill Phillip

You can alos check out Bill's homepage: http://bodyforlife.com/index.asp

Pain, pleasure and payoffs

Even the most destructive behaviours have a payoff. If you did not perceive the behaviour in question to generate some value to you, you would not do it. So if you want to stop behaving in a certain way, you've got to stop "paying yourself off" for doing it! Really! This is important. You must link pain to doing a destructive behaviour and then link pleasure to changing.

Find and control the payoffs, because you can't stop a behaviour until you recognize what you are gaining from it. Be alert to the possibility that your behaviour is controlled by fear of rejection. It's easier not to change. Try something new = putting yourself on the line. Also consider if your need for immediate gratification creates an appetite for a small payoff now rather than a large payoff later.

To feel miserrable where you are but still wanting to stay in the comfort zone

Decide that you are worth the risk of taking action, and that your dreams are not to be sold out. It might be scary but you must leave behind what's comfortable and familiar if you are to move onward and upward. Remember:

• It what you do that determines the script of your life.
• It's important to transfer your intentions into purposeful, meaningful and constructive actions.
• Measure yourself and others based on results — not intentions or words.

Know where I'm going

We all generate the results that we feel that we deserve. The eating disorder isn't the cause it's the symptom! I need to love and care for myself!

I want to be healthy.
I want to love myself.
I want to be proud of my body and my life.

When it comes to my behavior around food

I want to eat when I'm hungry
I want to stop eating when I'm full
I want to only eat food that I like
I want to savour the food
I want to eat slowly and be mindfully
I want to take care of myself emotionally before eating.

Stand up for yourself!

We need to say no to E.D, Mr Faultfinder and The Diet Rebel and give place for our own voice and opinions instead. You either teach people to treat you with dignity and respect, or you don't. You shape others' behaviour when you teach them what they can get away with and what they cannot. If the people in your life treat you in an undesirable way, figure out what you are doing to reinforce, elicit or allow that treatment.

Wednesday I started all over again!

This time it's for real. I've had it and decided that I'm going to give myself the gift of stopping this behavior.

When feelings is the disease and “Ed” is the remedy

So what just happened? I just had a binge and well I wasn’t really conscience of having one. Just before going to take a nap I read in “eating in the light of the moon” about that it’s crucial to accept and feel our feelings in order to get rid of ED. It makes sense. I know that I’ve got a nasty habit of numbing myself from feelings with ED related issues: eating, starving, binging, exercising etc. And why do I do that? Well, I wasn’t allowed to show my emotions when living with my parents: I was supposed to be that happy smiling girl. Always. My father constantly reminded me that I was a part of his environment (that’s literally what he said) and that he didn’t tolerate any “odd behaviour” in that environment. So I grow up thinking that not being cheerful was odd and a sin. My way of coping with feelings became ED. Anyway. What happened is that I woke up, feeling like shit. I was anxious and had bad conscience. So I had a binge. I didn’t want to feel that way. When analysing why I felt that way is because I’m really afraid that I won’t reach my ideal weight. I just gained 3 kg and I feel so alienated in my body. I also had a dream that I wasn’t respecting the diet rules I’ve out up for my self and I guess that created an “it’s already too late to be perfect” feeling. The bing was my response to numb my guilt and anxiety.

The power of forgiveness

Hate, anger and resentment are destructive, eating away at the heart and soul of the person who carries them. They are absolutely incompatible with your own peace, joy and relaxation. Forgiveness is not about another person who has transgressed against you; it is about you. Forgiveness is about doing whatever it takes to preserve the power to create your own emotional state. It is a gift to yourself and it frees you. You don't have to have the other person's cooperation, and they do not have to be sorry or admit the error of their ways. Do it for yourself.

Breaking free from the vicious cycle of overthinking

WOMEN WHO THINK TOO MUCH - Susan Nolen-Hoeksema

In our fast-paced, overly self-analytical culture many women spend countless hours thinking about negative ideas, feelings, and experiences and relationships. Nolen-Hoeksema shows us what causes so many women to be overthinkers and provides concrete strategies that can be used to escape these negative thoughts, move to higher ground, and live more productively. The authour explaines that negative mood connects negative thoughts and memories, even when these thoughts and memories have nothing else to do with one another. This is why it is easier to think of negative things when you are in a bad mood than when you are in a good mood. She challenges the assumption—heralded by so many pop-psychology pundits of the last several decades—that constantly expressing and analyzing our emotions is a good thing.

I'm taking my life back!

I’ve decided to live! I want to take my life back! I'm going to dry my tears and simplify my life. Well simplify sound much more fun than to say that I’m really frightened that if I don’t get out of my mental torture chamber I don’t know what I’ll do. I’ve decided that I need to find myself as I don’t know how long I will cope with this existance (because I can’t really call this a life).

So here’s how I'll proceed ones I've found the motivation to act:

1 Create a support-team and keep daily contact
2 Accept and forgive myself for what I've done in the past
3 Get a clear picture of what I want for my future
4 Set up small process goals on the way
5 Reward myself on the way
6 Wear high heels more often

Ok I know that the 6^th statement seems quite irrelevant compared to the others but I’m not known to be a dead-serious young woman.(one of the reasons why I've been having a hard time to take my problems seriously)

Can I blame Barbie?

In today's society we never seem to satisfied with what we've got. So who's fault is it? Can I blame the society of consumption? Can I blame Barbie? Can I blame the unormally thin ideal for young women? Or is it my parents fault? Or my boyfriends? Well I don’t really know all I know is that the result is the same - I feel like shit.