Tool °3 My defined product

I’ve just finished my list of my positive feutures – who I’am. This list is what I call “my defined product”. This concept comes from Dr Phil (who may have a silly TV-show but actually writes real good self-help literature).
The idea is to read this list I need to repeat them frequently with feeling. That way you will accentuate your positive traits. As you gradually starts to focus more on positive aspects your feelings about yourself will improve. This in turn will affect your mood, your actions and relationships. So when E.D or the Diet Rebel tells you how lousy they think that you are it’s easier to stand up to them.

Parents and selfesteem

It can't be easy to be a parent nowadays. As we over-analyse everything trying to find the reason behind our (strange) behavoirs the parents are severely judged and passes under the loop.

That said, there are apperently three things in our childhood that strongly effects our self-esteem. Good self-esteem is positively correlated to the below three factors:

- The parents set high standards by expecting politeness, help in the household and didn't let the children "do what you want".
- The Parents showed respect for their child by using democratic decision-making where the child taked part and is listened to.
- The parents showed love for their child not necessarily overtly but in terms of caring about "how things are going".

Breaking free from the vicious cycle of overthinking

WOMEN WHO THINK TOO MUCH - Susan Nolen-Hoeksema

In our fast-paced, overly self-analytical culture many women spend countless hours thinking about negative ideas, feelings, and experiences and relationships. Nolen-Hoeksema shows us what causes so many women to be overthinkers and provides concrete strategies that can be used to escape these negative thoughts, move to higher ground, and live more productively. The authour explaines that negative mood connects negative thoughts and memories, even when these thoughts and memories have nothing else to do with one another. This is why it is easier to think of negative things when you are in a bad mood than when you are in a good mood. She challenges the assumption—heralded by so many pop-psychology pundits of the last several decades—that constantly expressing and analyzing our emotions is a good thing.